came back from my sales training meeting to discover that naveed had stolen my cubicle, work station and headset. naveed is a fucking dong.

my first call of the day i had an old man from battle creek, michigan on the hook for a pretty expensive product that he seem interested in but i failed to build enough urgency (i.e. make him feel that this was a limited time offer – even though it wasn’t) and he got away.

who are these people who still have mechanical fucking answering machines? answer: old people who don’t want to buy things from me.

i’ve been telling the old people that our products are like the bible, nobody thinks about them untel they get in trouble and truly need them. i will surely burn in hell for this. among other things i have done and said today.

the human resources specialist lasted all of four days in the office. now that she is gone everyone is talking shit about her (apparently she was crazy) and have also gone back to swearing at each other and clients on the phone at the top of their lungs across the office.

i’m in the cube right next to the sale leaderboard/whiteboard. everyone keeps getting sales written up next to their names. i’m sitting here getting shot down by geriatrics from albuquerque and not selling shit. it’s hard to be cocky about a job when you suck at it as hard as i do.

i’ve been hearing a ton of movie pitches from my co-workers in the office today. most go like, “dude, i want to make a movie that’s just like the hangover but instead of those guys in it, it would be about my uncle who’s 45 who do coke with on the weekends sometimes. he’s crazy.”